Lesson 6: Turning Point

“Life is active and tension is the source of energy.”
-Joseph Campbell

I WILL NOT LIVE LIKE THIS

Today is day 26 since I left the forest and today it happened! I’ve felt the slide for a while, but today it hit me!

I phone my wife, Jane, this morning, and tried to explain how I am feeling. It went something like this:

Me: I’m just feeling out of sorts

Jane: What do you mean?

Me: I feel like I’ve lost connection.

Jane: Connection? What connection?

Me: I feel like I’ve lost connection to me, I’ve lost connection to nature and I’ve lost connection to God.

As I look back now, I see the slide. It’s normal and happens to everyone, but that doesn’t mean it’s right. With me being sick and then going away for 40 days, no maintenance has happened on the property. Actually, that’s an excuse, it goes back long before that. Things have needed to be done and I have not got around to them. Anyway, two weeks ago, my one tenant showed me her deck and it was rotten and dangerous. I pulled it down immediately and promised to fix it.! The same week another tenant told me that their stairs were dangerous and needed replacing. Sixteen stairs in total! Again, life happens to all of us.

The last two weeks have been constant work. Counselling during the week and maintenance on the weekends. Having reset in the forest, I am able to see and feel the difference. How I feel right now was my normal, it’s what I’ve done for “pretty well” my whole life. It’s not wrong, it’s just brutal for our souls… No wonder so many of us feel alienated, feel like we don’t belong, get anxious and depressed. If we live by default, the demands of this world will simply drive us and drive us and drive us. As humans, we have an incredible capacity to perform. The truth is, unfortunately, that there is a cost. When we operate at our limits physically and mentally, we pay the price at our inner level. We start to lose connection. It’s slow and progressive – but it happens.

Having experienced solitude, having enjoyed a deep connection to myself, and to nature, and to God, my perception or awareness is turned up. I feel the disconnect and I don’t like it. I simply choose not to live like this,

So, practically, what does this mean? Well, the deck must be finished, and the stairs replaced. I will work next weekend and probably the following as well, but even in this business, I will make time for more connection, and am planning a trip away with Jane. It will probably be a remote beach somewhere, but we will actively seek to find the equilibrium. Somehow, we have to balance “being” and “doing”.

My hope is that this short blog will help you stop, even for a moment, and see how well you are balancing your life. We all have responsibilities and need to be productive, but a life dedicated to the treadmill of capitalism is no life at all. We have to balance our “doing” with our “being”!

How’s your balance?

If your balance is out, I hope you can find the courage to do something about it.

Warm Regards,
Andy